Don’t bother analyzing. I’m up late.
Why is life so full of crossroads? I’m really not a fan. I don’t like decisions, as a rule. Much more, I hate being cornered into decisions with little time to evaluate my options. Much much more I hate being cornered into decisions with little time to evaluate my options AND not liking the options I do detect… WORSE… not knowing what will happen… How can I possibly know at a particular time and place what life will be like should I choose to walk right or walk left? How can I possibly evaluate the boundless potential, or potentially no potential bound up in each path? I am a s l o w processor. My apologies to the world and to the people who move past me with the force of fierce determination to do what it is they want to do. What I want, for me, remains elusive. My wants scatter in the turbulence of what is demanded of me by real life… not fairy tale life where I forge trails and make a name for myself at this or that. I love not the mild life in the shadows of the people on their way to the top… but I long to be at peace with what my Creator has put in front of me… the beautiful mundane tasks that suck the life out of me yet echo in eternity. Am I allowed to desire more than this? And, if so, what, do tell, is the better choice? Go my own way and risk venturing into oblivion… or grasp desperately on to the ropes of the mountain climbers and be in the shadow of their successes? That sounds like just another kind of oblivion.
Life is complicated for the analytical.
get out of my head
ha!
you should blog more. just saying. not sure when you when do that (all that spare time you have…HA!) but seriously the world needs to hear from you.